But why have we procrastinated?

Writing things down puts my mind at ease and allows me to truly rest.

When we think of this task – say – cleaning the bathroom. We think of the energy it takes to do it. If our current energy matches the task, we do it. Otherwise, we divert ourselves to lower energy tasks – like checking out what friends are doing on Facebook, looking into our favorite newsgroup board, playing online games or watching television/movies. (etc.)

I’m going to try an experiment to not do the lower energy tasks at that moment, but instead to write myself a note or a list of things I’d like to accomplish. (so I can have a true rest and not just lay there thinking of stuff I shouldn’t forget!) I will be sure to give myself a reasonable time to finish the task(s).

Then, I will get some rest & tackle the list when I have more energy.

What do you think about that? It’s a change of habit, so it may not feel comfortable at first. I’ll post my outcome, and also check back in the long run to see how it works out long-term. Wish me (us) luck!

Pardon that I’ve procrastinating on doing some billable work to write this.

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This is so hard for me to say, but our cat, Snowy died this morning just after 3 am.

We  found her in the back yard close to the shed, lying on the ground. Her pupils were dilated, and her hind quarters were cold. Her front paws were getting cold. She was still breathing, but barely. As we spoke, she responded by moving her front paws a bit.

Feeling that death was immanent, I expressed my love for her and called her my term of endearment “My little pussycat” – she blinked slowly, as if to respond that she understood, felt comfort and appreciated the statement. Other than that and one other blink when Jim was caring for her, she was completely unresponsive in her senses.

My hubby and I sat with her for a while outside on our lawn chairs but it was becoming quite chilly. I called my aunt, my mom and the vets (left a message with one) and got a 24hr hotline with the other and they suggested that we wrap her in a blanket and and the hot water bottle and just try to keep her comfortable as she dies. We decided to go into the breeze way to help make her comfortable for her passing and allow us to stay with her.

On and off, I spoke to her and told her that I love her and that it’s ok for her to die, and pass on. I told her she has been such a wonderful kitty and that we appreciated that we could share in her life. I said that her body served her well up to this point but that she didn’t need this crummy body any more and that her spirit was free to go. Hubby was also was able to express his love for her. I meditated and directed her to the light and hoped that she knew it would be alright for her to go. Any time I drew energy from above and handed it to her as courage and strength to go to the light, her body contorted and I hoped that it was a good sign. I’m not experienced with this and just wanted to help her along and hope that what energy I passed to her didn’t prolong the process for her, but helped her with her transition.

She took her last breath right after I told her that I would leave her body alone for a long while after she passed to allow her spirit to separate from her body and that it would be ok, we wouldn’t do anything with her body until we were certain that she was away from it.

After she died, Jim and I slept in the breeze way with her body and allowed time for her spirit to make the transition.

This morning at 6, we buried her in the back corner of the yard, near the shed that she enjoyed hanging out around. We marked the site with a large rock and a smaller white rock we found close to the site.

It’s crazy how attached we become to these wonderful little loving creatures.

Take care and thanks for reading.

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In a previous meditation, Norm had asked us to go to the center of source and experience it. What I experienced was a very white ball of light energy, but not so bright that I couldn’t make out the structure of it. It had many long “fingers” going out to lesser light energies, of many different colors. I understood those lights to be us humans.

While in source, I could see the giving of energy down these fingers into the less bright lights and each growing and giving back energy to the source, and in turn, growing lighter and larger. It was like breathing.

The meditation this evening, I viewed the same scene but from my human perspective. I recalled from the last experience that we are not static, but ever-moving. I had the sensation of a lifetime elapsing in just a few seconds – but with all of our moving, I noticed that each connection to source was not like a marionette’s strings getting all tangled up, but each one gracefully passed through each others. A small part of my light connection rubbed off on many others, and many others have rubbed off on mine.

It felt like a beautiful dance.

I’m not one for dancing, but absolutely appreciated experiencing this meditative dance.

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» The Art Room

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This was taken after I had all my mercury fillings replaced with Cerec brand ceramic inlays. Good stuff. Not much “exciting” stuff to write about a dental x-ray, but neat to look at just the same.

And yes, my ears are lopsided! They’re off by a lot! Click on the picture if you want to see it larger.

UPDATE: I realized why I’m lopsided. I never liked my hair parting in the middle, so I tend to style it with a part on the right side. Subliminally, I was tilting my head to keep my part! Gheesh! How vain of me! I’ll just have to deal with a part in the middle of my head if it gets rid of this “TMJ”, or clicking jaw I have. I’ll post back, although I’m sure it’s not of concern to anybody but myself!

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As usual, it looks like Austin is ahead of the country with offering this:
www.austincarshare.org

Great concept! I wonder how it’s working? My sis had mentioned a private car share between neighbors (of a planned community). I thought it was a great idea, because car expenses shared make it easier on everyone involved! Taxes, insurance, and gas… I wonder how that works out now, return it as you got it? That would be a lot of trips to the gas station if everyone had to continually top it off. Also, I wonder how insurance would be handled with so many drivers?

It would be neat to start a non-profit like this here in CT.
(None on this list are from CT: www.carsharing.net )

Gah! I’ve stayed up all night working (I finished my project!), and now I’m looking at the fun car conversion stuff online. I’m so tired. I guess I ought to get some sleep now.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment

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I was having difficulty getting into a state of meditation, but Norman was helping us all by guiding us through it. He mentioned for us to put ourselves in a special place of comfort.

I was finally able to ignore my back pain and imagine myself meditating under a tree. The land was created and unfurled, first from the tree, then expanding ~ only created as I was imagining it outwards. (Amazing. I’d love to see that in a movie!)

Next, I brought my attention to the sun, I noticed the warmth of the sun on my face & enjoyed it. Then, I imagined the sun curling towards and then engulfing me. I sat there and felt warm as I, now the light, quickly expanded. I felt a great joy. I noticed that my expansion filled the room, engulfing the other people within the room.

It occurred to me to appreciate each person in the room. In my mind, I imagined each person where they were sitting and gave each one a hug & considered their ‘being’ as I appreciated them. I couldn’t imagine getting close enough to one particular person, but I appreciated them for a moment, and went on to the next person in the room.

I had an instant of understanding with one of the last people I appreciated. When I gave her a hug in my mind’s eye, I noticed that her right shoulder blade needed comfort. (I initially said her left shoulder blade, but it was my left side as I hugged her, but her right because she was facing me.)

Lastly, I imagined appreciating Norman, and for good measure, I appreciated Jon for ‘referring’ me to him. (Jon assembled the Vernon Holistic Community First Friday Breakfasts, among other things…) As I appreciated them, real tears involuntarily trickled down my face.

So here’s the interesting part…

Norman asked if anyone had experienced ‘purple light’. None had. Then he went around the room and asked standard questions to each of us about of our experience.

I didn’t initially describe what I just have above, because his questions were very deliberate. I answered each one, but his questions didn’t require me to disclose what I had fully experienced. I noticed the student I couldn’t get close to had said in her meditation, she had a dragon come up to her, and she said ‘NO’, and it went away.

That was interesting.

After everyone answered Norman’s questions, I asked Norman if we interact with each other during meditation, fearful that I was the dragon in that student’s response! He didn’t know what I was asking him, so I elaborated on my experience.

He said that we do interact, and mentioned that he also went around the room and gave purple light to each participant to help each with their meditation. He mentioned that my tears were something to do with soul connection, but can’t recall exactly what he was trying to convey. (Hey, I didn’t learn that yet! That’s why I’m taking a class!)

So…

Last, I mentioned that there was an interesting thing about someone I was appreciating. I turned to the person on the opposite end of the couch and mentioned that when I hugged her in my mind’s eye, her right shoulder blade seemed to appreciate the comfort. She said that it was hurting her all day!

Driving home, I thought about the sun in my meditation. (It ‘happened to be’ initially located in the general direction where Norman was seated.) It could very well have been his energy directed towards me, although I didn’t see it as purple. (Hey, I don’t see myself as a dragon, either…)

What an amazing experience! One ‘coincidence’ is easy to brush off. Three are harder brush off as merely being a coincidence. With the dragon, the sun and the shoulder blade all seeming to connect, I believe more was at work than one would initially accept.

Incidentally, my right shoulder blade felt bruised the next morning. I asked my husband to look and see if there was anything there, but he didn’t see anything.

I mentioned it to a friend and he said that he’s open to these mystical sorts of things but wants to see proof.

Proof is an interesting thing. For me, first-hand experience is proof enough, but to be able to share that ‘proof’ with someone who is skeptical, is quite another thing.

It’s like seeing a ghost. I’m sure that there are ways to prove that a real energy exists around a ghost entity. The tricky part is having the measuring equipment, and having the ghost energy show up at the same time. This makes it virtually impossible to capture! If I were focused on capturing the ghost’s energy and had the equipment, then the ghost could choose not to show up.

I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced this: you’ve gone to an event where you want to capture it on video. You will notice that your experience of the event is limited. You spend your time making sure you have ‘the shot’ and aren’t fully enjoying the event for what it is, at the time that it’s taking place. You are allowing it to pass, in hopes of capturing it for future. You will miss a lot this way, so I say, dig in and enjoy the moment while it ‘is’ and don’t worry about the proof.

I would absolutely love to hear what you think. (Even if you think I’m crazy!)

By the way, feel free to leave a reply with any of my posts. Don’t be shy I love this stuff! If you are reading this from the ‘fun’ page, simply click on the title above to get to the specific post’s page. There you will see a ‘reply’ box below the story. (Thanks, Karen for the first ‘comment’ on my site! Woo hoo!)

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That reminds me of a “graphic design” position that I applied for a long time ago. It was designing logos and such to put on plastic. Toothbrushes, vacuums, whatever. Anything plastic. They mentioned that I’d have to work with chemicals part of the day. I asked what percentage of the day would be working with chemicals, and although I can’t remember the exact percentage, it was more than I wanted to put up with it, so I ended the interview and declined the position.

Back to the story at hand: Even worse than lifting and moving heavy boxes and trash and lots of clean up, they forbid the workers from keeping water close by! What is this, Nazi Germany? “Get used to drinking less.” That’s what they told everyone. I can’t believe it. Seriously unbelievable! There are long stretches of time (5-7 hours!) when he was so busy that he was unable to take a break and go to the back of the store to the break room to get water. That is inhumane to deny workers access to water. I’m seriously disappointed in this company.

I went and visited him on opening day yesterday, and he looked beaten. His day wasn’t even halfway over. I felt bad to see him not looking happy.

Although it is a good thing that he has gone through this experience, I hope that my love can find something that he enjoys. I guess this was just one stop along the way for his life experience.

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Update: March 24, 2008

This is one of the books that I read with regards to improving my eyesight:

Relearning to See

Interestingly enough, it was written by a person by the name of “Quackenbush”. I hesitated to read it because of the inclusion of the word “Quack” in there, but it was by far the most comprehensive and interesting book I’ve read so far on vision. It allowed me to think of our eyesight as a truly magical happening. Just amazing that light hits the back of our eyes, and activates chemical responses to send messages to our brain to tell us what we are taking in. ~~ A warm, dark place inside our skull helps us to interpret the world around us. Amazing.

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